Off the wagon?

Apologies for the lack of posts, we moved house and we were without internet for three weeks and then once we got it back I just couldn't be arsed, I think I have lost my mojo.

I have to admit I am really struggling lately, by last week I was already at a low point, I've been doing this for so long now I think I am over it, well and truly. But then my DH left to go to a work conference and to show his English cousin around Perth and the South West of WA. He is gone for 12 days, that's 12 days of feeding just me and Jazz and worse, 12 days straight of work (there is only me and him at our workplace so since he is gone I have to hold the fort).

When DH is away I usually don't sleep well but this new house has added a totally new dimension to my insomnia with a whole new set of unfamiliar creaks and groans. I'm awake until 2-3am when my eyes finally close with exhaustion. I get up, go out, spend all day at work, I come home, I tidy the house, do the dishes and some laundry and then before I know it it's dinnertime and I'm so physically and mentally tired that I just cant be bothered even trying to think of something healthy so I've eaten pretty badly this week with chips and pizza amongst my dietary indiscretions. At least I am only eating crap at dinner time though, I'm not indulging in lollies, cakes and biscuits like I would have before, that counts for something right?

I didn't have a loss at all last week but by some miracle I am actually at my lowest weight so far and within tantalising reach of the 60kg mark, strangely though I am not happy. I don't know if it's the bad food and lack of exercise that is discouraging me or if the dissatisfaction of life in general is all catching up but I am currently less satisfied with myself than I was 5kgs ago, go figure? I look at myself in the mirror and although I know I am so much smaller than I was 8 months ago I still don't like what I see because before I was just unhappy with my size overall. Now however I see the individual faults, they are alot more obvious, I see a flabby belly, big arse and thunder thighs. Also now that I am thinner, if I eat alot it actually makes my belly stick out and I hate that, a 300gm weight gain feels like 2kgs.

That's pretty fucking sad isn't it?

Anyway this blog is about the weight loss and I have lost weight so I guess I should post the numbers.

24/8 63.1kgs, -1kg
31/8 62.5kgs, -600gms
14/9 62.2kgs, -300gms
21/9 61.6kgs, -600gms
28/9 61.1kgs, -500gms
05/10 61.1kgs, no change :(

Progress Pics

Well I said a few weeks ago I'd post some progress pics but I didn't like any that we took, so last week we took some more and I decided they were passable. I've cut off my head though 'cos it looks feral. While I can still see plenty of podgy bits and I am not entirely happy with how I look I am really seeing the benefits of all my hard work.

Look how big my butt and gut were!!!

Set 1, Feb 09, approx 80kgs (178lbs), size 14-16
Set 2, Aug 09, 63kgs, size (138lbs) 10-12

The good, the bad and the ugly

Well for starters my Monday weigh in was really good, I was another kilo down so that means I have lost the 1.5kgs I gained in Melbourne plus a bit more and am now officially at my lightest weight this year, and possibly even my lightest weight in about 10 years. But I can't be sure about that because until this year I had a long standing tradition of not weighing myself. But all up that is something to be happy about, and it sadly concludes the "good" bit of the title.

On the opposite end of the scale we have had a totally shit week at work, I'm not going into details, mainly because I am so apathetic right now I just can't be fucked but the short story is that two people are being expected to do the work of about five, and we work 7 days per week between the two of us (Hubby and I) and haven't had a day off work together since April when our 83 year old Volunteer finally gave it up. So we're feeling slightly used, unappreciated and taken for granted and I had actually written my resignation letter with every intention of handing it in at the Board meeting this morning but hubby talked me out of it. That's the "bad" bit.

As for the "ugly", well on Wednesday nights I go to a craft group, so to make things easy, rather than the complication of cooking a meal we have what we call our "bitzer" night, that stands for "bits o' this and bits o' that" also know as GYFO: get your fucking own. Anyway to add to all the stress of the week, I was also majorly pre-menstrual and had spent the better part of yesterday afternoon bawling my eyes out, so when it came time for tea I couldn't be arsed and I ended up having two toasted ham and cheese sandwiches. I don't even want to allow my brain to calculate the carbs in 4 slices of bread! And to be honest I didn't even enjoy it, a ham and cheese toasted sanger doesn't taste anywhere near as good as I remember it tasting :(

So it's a big "woe is me" week.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 63.1kgs
Lost this week: 1kgs
Total Loss: 18.3kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 24.6
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

A new beginning?

Before I went away interstate I'd had a couple of lousy weeks on the diet where I'd only lost 100 & 300gms respectively. I was starting to worry that I'd hit the dreaded plateau that you hear about so often in diet land.

Since returning home, despite my talk last week of renewed optimism and enthusiasm I've been finding it hard to get back into the groove. I suppose dh and I are both still feeling pretty flat about it all and of course it is very hard to be surrounded by our families and then come back here by ourselves 3000kms away.

I've had trouble with the water as usual - the weather is cool, I just don't get thirsty! And I haven't re-started my nightly stepping yet. I also haven't stuck to the diet 100%. I haven't eaten any really naughty things like cakes, lollies, or choccies but I have had potatoes twice this week. On Friday night I had chips and last night I had an ever-so-small serving of mashed potatoes. Yet, despite that my weigh in this morning was very good.

Perhaps it is too soon since the potatoes and I will pay for that on next weeks weigh in? Or perhaps I really was heading towards a plateau and all the indulgences over those two weeks away have kicked my body into gear and it's now like starting the diet all over again?

Whatever the case I am happy with this mornings numbers and I'm hopeful the good results will continue :)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 64.1kgs
Lost this week: 1kgs
Total Loss: 17.3kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Gone backwards

prior to weigh in ....

Well I've been really naughty during my 2 weeks away but it has been very emotional and stressful so I gave myself permission to relax the diet a bit, I think I ended up relaxing it alot though. I still had my shakes for breakfast and lunch but I was basically eating normal meals for tea so I've had alot of pasta, rice and potatoes, and unlike us hubbys brother and his wife are big wine drinkers, there was always a bottle of two on the dinner table so I've had a couple of glasses of wine most nights over the last 2 weeks (wine is calorie laden!) and I've had very little water, as far as fluid intake is concerned I've been existing on wine and coke zero. We also had fast food quite a few times, maccas, subway and kfc and to top it off several krispy kremes, cakes and chocolates have passed my lips along with a Gloria Jeans latte almost every day and copious quantities of popcorn at the two movie sessions we went to.

I haven't weighed myself yet but I am dreading it as I know I have put on weight, at least a couple of kilos worth I think, my size 10 jeans still fit but the size 12 bonds boyleg undies are becoming a little snug and I feel fat and bloated :( .
At the time I said it didn't matter and that having come this far (losing 17.5kgs) a backslide of 2kgs wouldn't be hard to deal with but it does feel bad to have made a backwards step.

Anyway we're home now so it's back on the wagon with a vengeance.

after weigh in ....

Well as it turns out it wasn't quite as bad as I expected, I am now 1.2kgs more than my last official weigh in so that means despite all the crap I ate I only put on 1.2kgs while I was away!

Considering I have kind of pigged out for the last two weeks, have hardly had any water and except for a day at the Zoo and 5 hours at a DFO I've had basically zero exercise, my gain was way lower than I expected.

I go back onto the diet today with renewed energy, enthusiasm and optimism :)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 65.1kgs
Gained these weeks: 1.2kgs
Total Loss: 16.3kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25.4
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

I have returned

As many of you already know my MIL passed away in late July. We have just arrived home after spending 2 weeks interstate for the funeral and sorting out the house etc. It's been a very difficult and emotional time.

We're missing our families but I think there is a certain sense of relief and peace at being home and in our own space, DHs brother and his wife are lovely but it can be difficult to relax when you are in someone else's home 24/7 for 2 weeks. We have bought back some photos and some small bits and pieces that belonged to MIL that I need to sort through and find a special place to display.

I look forward to catching up on all your blogs.

B.
xx

It's a new week

After last weeks tonsillitis I had real trouble upping my water intake to it's normal level. Drinking water isn't something that comes naturally to me, I still have to think about it and make myself do it. It was only about Thursday when I actually started to feel really thirsty and my lips felt all dry and shriveled that I started making a concious effort to drink, and even then I wasn't getting as much down as I should have been.

Also being school holidays and being unwell my exercise drive lapsed and I really haven't done much at all over the last two weeks. But, school starts again tomorrow so I have vowed to get back into my normal routine. This week is basically a loss though. It appears my dehydration and my laziness have finally caught up with me as I have only lost 100gms.

However, it's not the end of the world. Provided I can up my water intake and get back on track with my stepping I am confident of a much better result for next Mondays weigh in.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 63.9kgs
Lost this week: 100gms
Total Loss: 17.5kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Ridiculous!

I've lost 17.5kgs.

I look better.

I feel better.

So why am I so pissed off at having to spend $1000 on new clothes for myself?

Don't ask me because I don't know wtf happened this week

You know most weeks I do everything right. I eat all the right things and don't eat any of the wrong things, I drink 2 litres of water a day, and I exercise 30 minutes a day. Most of the time I follow the diet to the letter and yet I still have weeks when I only lose 300-500gms.

This week being unwell with tonsillitis I did all the wrong things. I didn't eat enough and I didn't snack when I should, I ate potatoes and chips, I've barely had any water and I have not exercised one day all week, and yet this week I have lost 900gms.

How did that happen? That is not how diets are supposed to work, it doesn't make sense.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 64kgs
Lost this week: 900gms
Total Loss: 17.4kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Tonsillitis is the new diet

I am having another pissed off with-the-medical-profession week.

You see I am of an age where here in Australia it became the "done thing" to not remove childrens/teenagers tonsils. Despite the fact that I used to get 4-6 bouts of tonsillitis per year, and despite the fact that they would pus, bleed and cause me enormous degrees of pain, it never seemed quite bad enough for Doctors to decide my tonsils needed removal. So, to this day I suffer for it, and I am yet to meet a doctor who will remove them because it is apparently a much riskier procedure on an adult.

So here I am yet again suffering with tonsillitis. I feel like I've been eating red hot razor blades, my throat burns and aches with the kind of pain that only those who suffer repeatedly from tonsillitis can understand. I went to the Doctor yesterday and got a penicillan injection in the butt, I prefer this to oral antibiotics because it works alot quicker. With oral meds the sore throat can persist for 4-7 days, this way I have a very sore left butt cheek for a couple of days but at least the agonising sore throat shouldn't last more than another day or so.

The big downside of all this is that my appetite is totally non-existent, and if you know anything about dieting you'll know that despite what some people might think, not-eating is actually not an effective dieting tool, it is in fact quite a bad thing, you know, starvation mode, fat hoarding and all that. So I'm not overjoyed to be having zero interest in food. And it's not just my appetite, I don't want to swallow anything (be nice people) so I am chronically dehydrated, something else that isn't good in diet world. I know when you are sick fluids are majorly important but it is so hard to drink anything. As for food, of the little I have eaten in the last few days I've mainly gravitated to nice soft, mushy non diet approved things like mashed potato, ice-cream and my hubby's yummy meatloaf. Bad, bad, bad.

So I'm telling you all this just so you know not to expect anything too special for weigh in on Monday!

The time has come the Walrus said

Well I have finally gone under the 65kg mark so I've officially made the change, I have now reset my goal as 55kgs. It was nice when it was at 60kgs, seeing that I only had 5kgs to go and now it is back up to 9.9kgs but that isn't too bad, after how far I have come 9.9kgs to go isn't too overwhelming and I am confident of getting there.

I've been lazy this week and haven't done alot of exercise, I've also had potaotoes a couple of times since last Monday. I can pass up the pasta, the bread and the rice but potatoes are my real weakness, particularly like I mentioned in my last post, during this cold weather. I'm still following the rest of the diet well, eating the right things at the right times and not eating any other things I shouldn't be, it's just been those couple of times at night with the main meal.

Despite my slip ups it's been a good week, quite a bit better than the last couple. I've worn those super tight jeans out a few times in the last week, it takes a bit of an effort to zip them up, lol, but they are comfy enough and I really like how they look. As for the other pairs which were a good fit a month ago when I bought them, well they are actually a little bit loose now and I don't like that, I think it makes me look like a real slob, I look fatter than I am and that is the last thing I want. I've always tended to wear loose fit jeans but it seems, on me at least, that they do look better tight.

Bring on the size 10's!
(that's a size 6 for my US readers)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 64.9kgs
Lost this week: 800gms
Total Loss: 16.5kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25.3
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Sometimes it's leaps and bounds, sometimes it's baby steps

Weigh in this week was on the lower end of the scale. Disappointing but not unexpected since I have had very little energy or time for exercise the last couple of weeks and I have eaten a few things that are not diet approved such as potatoes. This cold weather really brings out the cravings for comfort food and sometimes meat and salad really just doesn't cut it.

Really I only have myself to blame. But while I am a tiny bit disappointed I can't say I am devastated. I'm just shy of 65kgs now and whilst I'd love to be alot thinner and that is still my ultimate goal, I am fairly satisfied with how I look at the moment. The saddlebags, my child bearing hips and muffin top are certainly a bug-bear but I'm not crying myself to sleep over it.

In fact, I actually think I'd be happy enough to stay this way, however like I mentioned in a previous post I am only just within the healthy weight range and it would be far too easy to slip out of it so I must forge on!

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 65.7kgs
Lost this week: 300gms
Total Loss: 15.7kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25.7
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Grumble, whinge, bitch, piss and moan

I know we hear alot about how the fashion industry has women's clothing sizes all stuffed up and what might be considered a size 8 in one shop is a size 14 in another, but how fucked up is it when the one shop has clothing labelled the same size when it's actually not?

I do the majority of my clothes shopping at Target. I know the Big Red Spot isn't really at the forefront of fashion but clothing is just not something I can bring myself to spend outrageous amounts of money on, particularly when I was fat and didn't care much how I looked, particularly now when I might not get alot of wear out of it before I need to buy new smaller clothes, and particularly when I live in the middle of the Australian outback and don't really have alot of choice when it comes to Women's retail outlets.

Something I do like about Target is that their jeans and trousers come in different leg lengths. For a short arse like me who lives in the rectum of Western Australia and has no access to a tailor this small convenience is a godsend. I am yet to find another major retailer who makes pants in multiple leg lengths, usually only the one length is offered, that is the 5"11 Amazonian legs up to the armpits length.

However, a major, major thing I do not like about Target is their quality control, or rather, lack thereof. Two weeks ago I went on my mega size 12 clothes shopping expedition that I posted about here. Now because I have to drive a 5 hour round trip to do anything other than a very basic grocery shop, a major shopping trip usually turns out to be a very busy jam packed day with me trying to fit in as many shops as possible and spend as much money as is humanely possible in 8 hours, my debit card gets swiped so often I'm surprised the friction doesn't cause it to catch fire. But, Targets lack of quality control totally shoots my super shopper mode to shit.

I should either be able to say "I am a size x", walk in to the shop, pick up a pair of size x jeans, pay and walk out, or I should be able to try on one pair of size x jeans and then know every other pair of size x jeans in the store will fit me, right? Not in Target, no way. While I was there I wasted no less than 1 hour of precious shopping time trying on 8 pairs of Jeans because in Target land no two pairs of jeans are created equal. Pick up a pair of jeans marked short leg length and buy without trying at your peril because they might just turn out to be regular or long length. That pair of jeans marked size 12, well they are actually more like a 10 and you can't quite do the zipper up.

After three trips to the changing rooms (lets not go into the skirts and tops I tried on as well) I came away with four pairs of jeans. Four pairs of jeans out of eight all marked size 12, short leg length. Two pairs of which are a perfect fit in waist, butt, thigh and leg length - when wearing with low heel slip on shoes. One pair which are a good fit everywhere although too long to wear with low heel shoes, perfect however for high heel boots. And finally a third pair which are too long and far too tight but which will be great with the boots when I lose another 3-5kgs.

It really should not be so hard. It does my head in. Seriously.
Somebody needs to be sacked.

Little by little bit by bit

It's all happening. Slowly but surely I am reaching my goal, I am proud of myself and amazed buy my own willpower, I never would have thought I could take this so far. Yesterday morning I weighed in at 66kgs. I asked my hubby if I was bigger or smaller than this when we first met and he said maybe just a tiny little bit smaller, how about that? This is the smallest I have been for about 10 years.

Sixty six kilos is a fairly significant number in my weight loss journey. Why is it significant you may ask? Well because in just 1 more kilo, once I reach the 65kg mark I am going to re-assess my original weight loss goal, although I guess technically I have already re-assessed it and come to a decision but 65kgs is when I am going to change the numbers and make it all official.

When I originally started this in January I decided that 60kgs was the magic number, I decided that from a starting weight of 81.4kgs a loss of 21.4kgs to get down to 60kgs was a realistic goal which put me in the healthy weight range. I also didn't want to feel overwhelmed seeing an overly large number of kgs "to go" on my weight loss ticker. However, I did tell myself from the beginning that my goal was flexible and that once I got to 65kgs I would assess how I was coping with the diet, how I felt, and how I looked and then make a decision whether I would be satisfied with 60kgs or if I wanted to go further.

Now that I am at 66kgs that magic number is tantalisingly close, my ticker says 15.4kgs lost and only 6kgs to go, it would be oh so easy to stop at 60kgs. But you know what? I don't think I would be happy with that. Who knows how I will feel once I have lost these next six kilos but right now, at this moment I am thinking I would rather push on to 55kgs. That would put me at the lower end of the healthy weight range and give me some leeway where as at 60kgs if I gained 2-3kg I would be back in the overweight category again. And 55kgs isn't too thin either, I could still lose another 5 kilos or so before that became a problem.

(I cannot believe I'm even thinking that I could possibly ever be too thin)

So anyway as of this week the stats are as follows:

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 66kgs
Lost this week: 500gms
Total Loss: 15.4kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 25.8
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Playing tag ...

I got tagged by lovely Leila at That Random Leila so now I have to answer the designated questions and then tag some of you. I hope you enjoy reading my answers and I look forward to reading yours :)

---------------------------

Here are the rules:

1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention & add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people

What is your current obsession?
Family history research, even though I haven't found any new info for ages I am completely sucked in and still keep searching for those extra tidbits to add to my tree.

What are you wearing today?
Blue denim jeans, work polo shirt, blue jacket. Despite being Sunday I had to go up to work for a few hours and I haven't changed yet as I am cold so I'm contemplating a super hot shower to warm up.

What’s for dinner?
There are chicken breasts thawing in the fridge so something to do with chicken, perhaps a stir fry, or maybe just grilled with a little marinade and a salad.

What’s the last thing you bought?
uuuummmmmm ..... milk I think, how boring. Although now that I think about it I did have a post parcel arrive on Friday with some new tops and skirts.

What are you listening to right now?
The usual mish mash of my eclectic tastes contained on my ipod. Everything from Billy Joel to Def Leppard.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Paris, I'm so in love with Paris, of all the places we have been it is the one place I constantly think about and long to re-visit.

Which language do you want to learn?
German so when I go to Germany to trace my German ancestors I will not need to pay for a translator, lol.


What do you love most about where you currently live?
Solitude, remoteness, the view from our house.

(pic on left is my house, we are surrounded by red dust, spinefex grass and not a whole lot of anything else)


What is your favourite colour?
Easy one, pink of course.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
For comfort: my flannel pyjamas, lol
For looks: my new boots

Describe your personal style?
I'm still working on it.

If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on?
More boots, lol.

What are you going to do after this?
Have that super hot shower.

What are your favourite films?
Grease
Labyrinth
Pride & Prejudice
Dirty Dancing
Picnic at Hanging Rock
An Officer and a Gentleman
The Piano
The Breakfast Club
Strictly Ballroom
Priscilla Queen of the Desert (a cock in a frock on a rock ... pmsl)
The Shawshank Redemption
and tons of others, I love movies.

Your favourite smell?
Freshly baked bread (which I can no longer eat, waaah!).
The vanilla, cinnamon and clove candle sitting on my kitchen bench.
My daughters freshly washed hair when I bend down to give her a goodnight kiss.

Do you collect anything?
Family history paraphernalia, birth death and marriage certificates of my ancestors.

What makes you follow a blog?
Interest in the subject matter, like how a person writes, humour.

Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk?
Mostly through sheer lack of time I just lurk. I like to comment if I can though or if a post particularly stands out or strikes a chord with me.

What’s one thing you dream of doing?
An Anthropology degree.

What is your biggest regret?
I don't regret having my daughter who is a beautiful wonderful kid. But, I do regret that I chose such a shitty (biological) dad for her, she deserved so much better.

What is your favourite thing to do on a rainy day? Snuggle up in a warm room, read a book or watch a movie and listen to the rain fall down.

Do you have a tattoo?
No. I've been contemplating one for about 12 years but I've never been able to settle on a design that I think I can live with forever. I've been considering a black cat (like my own kitty) for about the last 4 years now so that might be it.

What are you favourite books?
Lots of biographies and autobiographies particularly those relating to issues faced by women.
plus; Bryce Courtney: Power of One & April Fools day
Diana Gabaldon: Cross Stitch series
Wilbur Smith: Courtney novels
John Marsden: Tomorrow series
and Harry potter :)
As you can see I get sucked into sagas, stories that span multiple books lol.

Are you left handed, right handed, ambidextrous, or a little of both?
I write with my left hand only. Everything else I can use either hand competently but I cannot write with my right hand so I am not quite ambidextrous, weird I know.

------------------------------

I tag:
Carlos
Merrill
Tony
Ali
April
Kell
JJ
and Kir

:)

OMFG - no way

Today on my head I found a grey hair. Yes a GREY hair, which I promptly plucked out. I should not be getting grey hairs, I am only 34 (or is that 35?). Anyway it doesn't matter how old I am, I'm too young for grey hairs.

Busy but doing well

I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks so I've missed a bit including my weekly update for last weeks Monday weigh in, this mainly due to being incredibly busy at work but I was also away for a few days shopping in the big smoke (lol) for a whole heap of new size 12 clothes *grin*. I could no longer tolerate the constant hoicking up of my size 14 jeans which had surpassed being a little loose and were starting to get downright baggy, I looked like shit so I decided the time had come to spend some money on myself. Really though if I can be brave and talk myself into it I may get hubby to take some pics because I think the new clothes deserve their own post, especially the black leather boots ;)

But moving right along onto Mondays usual topic, the subject of this post is my weekly weigh in and I am pleased to report that after my last post where I'd had a 500gm gain I have now had two successive weeks of 900gm losses! Snaps for me :)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 66.5kgs
Lost last week and this week: 900gms x 2
Total Loss: 14.9kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 26
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

First weight gain :(

Well if it was going to happen any week it would be this one.

It was a week of no exercise to rest my knee and then a few food slip ups, firstly on Friday night and then last night for my Hubby's birthday we had a meal out at the pub, I had lasagne and chips, very naughty. We also had a big carnival thing here this weekend and we were flat out at work so once again I had far too little water but I also drank alot more coffee than I normally do and that's not good. I read somewhere that it takes 3 glasses of water to process 1 cup of coffee so that basically means I didn't have any water all weekend.

All this has resulted in a rather large gain this week. It's fairly demoralising but I'm trying to look on the bright side, it's the very first gain I've had since I started this in January. Every other weigh in for the for the past 20 weeks I have lost weight and I guess that's not too bad. Some peoples weight loss journeys are up and down like a hookers knickers so I suppose I can't complain too much about one bad week.

In the grand scheme of things this is only a few hundred grams, it's only one week of a gain in many weeks of losses, tomorrow is a new day, next week is a new week and I'm back on the wii this week so onwards from here.

(I'm trying to put a positive spin on this people, work with me here)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 68.3kgs
Gained this week: 500gms
Total Loss: 13.1kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 26.7
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

I should have had a cupcake

This week has gone to shit. I haven't lost any weight this week so far, I still have two more days until my official weekly weigh in but I am not hopeful of any dramatic change in those two days. I didn't expect a big loss after last weeks massive 1.4kg but I thought I'd at least lose something so it's very disappointing.

The only thing different about this week is that of course I have not been doing my nightly 30 minutes of stepping due to my knee injury. This is upsetting for me because I was kind of hoping that I could drop one or two nights of exercise and just do four to five nights a week but it really looks like I must exercise six to seven nights a week. Not good news for me, I'd much prefer it to be food rather than exercise that makes the difference with my weight loss because I find the food deprivation alot easier than having to exercise every single damn day of the week.

Also, carrying on with the week going to shit theme, last night we had a function/fund-raiser for our Museum. Hubby and I had to be there at 5:30pm to start setting up so it was too early to eat before we left home. We had wine and food to offer to the guests, including rice snacks, nuts, dip, crackers, cheese, cabana, sandwiches, and my favourite Red Rock Deli honey soy chicken chips which I have not eaten since January. By 7pm my stomach was rumbling so I had a few chips, at 7:30pm I was getting really hungry so I had a few more but I ate no more than a handful in total.

It all wrapped up just after 8pm but then we had to pack up all our gear so we didn't get home until 8:30pm. By that stage having worked most of the day, we were too tired to organise something for dinner so we ate some of the left over sandwiches from the function. I ate six ham and cheese triangles, so one and a half sandwiches in total.

Daily carb allowance: 100gms
Carbs consumed yesterday: about 130gms

So as you can see, this week has totally gone to shit and I should have just eaten the damn cupcake.

Cupcakes and temptation

Yesterday my daughters school had an "Australia's Biggest Morning Tea" cancer fund-raiser, all the kids had to make hats and bring $2 to buy a cupcake and a milo. My daughter came home triumphant after winning a prize for her aluminium foil teapot hat that I whipped up for her in 20 minutes yesterday morning,lol.

Anyway on Wednesday night one of my friends who also has kids at the school called me and asked if I would come over to her house and help her ice 200 cupcakes for the fund-raiser. I told her it would really test my resolve but if she needed my help, so be it, I was prepared to be tested.

The amazing thing about all of this is that when I arrived at her house there were 200 un-iced cupcakes on her table and benches, and when I left three hours and one cup of coffee later there were still 200 iced cupcakes on her table and bench, I did not eat a single one.

I was telling another friend about the cupcakes this morning. I told her how before this diet I would definitely have had a cupcake. Even if it had been one of those days when I'd looked in the mirror and thought how terrible I looked and said to myself that I had to do "something", promised myself I'd "be good" and not eat the wrong things, I still probably would have had a cupcake, maybe even two or three.

I surprised myself by not eating a cupcake. I still crave certain foods like rice and pasta and yummy cakey things but it has now got to the stage where I can even smell those things yet not have an overwhelming desire to consume them. I never knew how strong my willpower could be, it feels good.

WTF?

Speaking strictly in terms of weight loss, how does a person go from one of their worst weeks so far to their absolute, without a doubt, awesomely best week so far?

This is what todays weigh-in tells me I have somehow managed to do this week. This week, if the scales are to be believed, I have apparently lost the same amount of weight as I did in the previous two weeks. How the hell that happens I have no idea. I know I wasn't drinking enough water and I was a bit "blocked up" during that awful 200gm week but who would have thought it would make such a big difference?

It's just too bad I can't lose this much every single week, if that were the case I'd only be a few short weeks away from my goal weight. Anyway I guess it's just as well I have had a good week because my knee injury and resulting inability to exercise means it's highly likely that this coming week is going to go to shit!

But for now onto the good news, this weeks stats:

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 67.8kgs
Lost this week: 1.4kgs
Total Loss: 13.6kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 26.5
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Injured and can't do stepping - OMG I'm going to gain weight!

This morning I woke up with a really sore knee, it's really, seriously painful, I don't know how I have managed to hurt myself so badly without even noticing it (scary). I can't walk properly, I have to walk really slow and I limp, I can't really put weight on it at all without pain. It aches just sitting still, I can't straighten it without pain and I can't bend it without pain and it's tender to the touch.

So we went to the hospital at about 5pm to get it looked at as I could not cope with the pain any longer (I can't take anti inflammatories like Naprosyn and Advil because of my ulcers, I can only take paracetamol which does nothing). I was examined by a very vague agency temp nurse, not one of regular nurses who lives in town, and she told me off for doing stepping as my exercise. Stepping is apparently the single worst exercise for knees, so she told me about 10 times. Whether it's to blame for my current state we still don't know but it's certainly what she was pointing the finger at.

The nurse then called the Doctor for advice. I have been put on ibrufoen (an anti inflammatory) and the dose of my anti stomach acid medication, somac, has been doubled. I'm not sure how that works but this is what they gave me, god I hope they know what they are doing and I don't end up with a bleeding ulcer! She also strapped my knee and I have been given crutches and told to stay off it. Without the benefit of ultrasound or x-ray they are not sure if tendon, muscle or cartiledge is the problem but if it's not alot better by Monday or Tuesday I have to go back to see the Doctor.

So I was pretty much told I shouldn't do stepping as my form of exercise at all but at the very least I'm not meant to do it for a week.

This is a real hiccup for my weight loss program, not happy, not happy at all :(

When do you weigh?

There seems to be a couple of different schools of thought among those trying to lose weight about the time of day to weigh and how often.

Time of day: I've been doing my weigh in at night but I've recently discovered that alot of people prefer to weigh in the morning as soon as they have got up and peed as they believe this is the time you get the most "pure" result, meaning a result that isn't tainted by what/how much you have eaten and drank throughout the day. This makes sense to me, I mean lets face it, we all want to see the lowest numbers possible when we hit the scales so it seems logical to weigh at a time of day when your belly and bladder will be about as empty as they can get.

I've done morning weighs a couple of time now just to test the theory and on both occasions I was at least 400gms lower than the previous night, so I'm thinking of trialling a change to morning weigh ins.

How often: Another thing about weigh ins is that there seems to be some differing opinions about how often to do it. Some people think you should weigh every day, others believe no more than once a week or even once a fortnight. Those in the latter category think that if you weigh too often you become obsessive and that normal daily weight fluctuations can be too discouraging but those who support weighing every day say it makes you more conscious of the relationship between what you put in your mouth and the resulting changes in your weight.

Me? I weigh every day. I do it mainly because I've never been on a diet before and never been one for weighing myself so this is all new and novel, also I'm a control freak and I just need to know, I think I would feel too out of control and anxious if I only weighed weekly. Another sillier reason is that I use my Wii Fit board to do my weigh ins and if you don't do it every day the damn thing nags you, lol. I think that is something that definitely needs to be addressed by the programmers before they release Wii Fit V2, customers should be able to choose how often they weigh themselves and not be dictated to.

So, when do you weigh and how often?

A small improvement

This weeks weigh in was although not brilliant and certainly not one of my better results, a bit better than last week.

I've tried to be more conscious of my water intake, I've taken my IBS supplement every day and I've upped my dose of fibre powder in my shakes. I'm still feeling very clogged up and bloated but hopefully by the end of this week I'll make a big improvement.

(seriously though if I fart anymore I think my hubby will kick me out of the house)

Anyway here are the all important numbers.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 69.2kgs
Lost this week: 500gms
Total Loss: 12.2kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 27
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

I've been awarded!

The lovely Vicki from "Drop the weight before the weight drops You" has bestowed me with an award :)

Thanks Vicki, sorry it's taken me awhile to do this post, I have been SO busy at work these last few weeks and it was hard to choose!

As is typical for this kind of thing there are some rules, so here's what you do when you have received the "Super Blogger" award:

Tape it up on your blog somewhere.
Pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers, and comment on their blog to let them know how lucky they are today!
When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the super blogger who gave it to you.

Soooo without further ado I am passing this award on to:

Carlos at "You're gonna need a bigger boat"
Carlos writes with total honesty, nothing is taboo, his dry humour has me regularly LMFAO. I really love reading his blog.

Dee at "Dee's Fitness/Weight Loss Journey"
Fellow Aussie Dee had a similar start weight to me and has a similar goal. She is way better on the exercise thing though, she really makes me want to do more about that, lol.

Leila at "That Random Leila"
My one non weight loss/health blog awarded, Leilas blog is my escapism, through her blog I live vicariously for she is doing something I always wish I'd done, living and working in another country.

Tony at "I Don't Want to Die of a Heart Attack When I'm 25"
Tony has already lost twice as much as I need to and isn't finished yet, I don't know how I could stay motivated that long but he still gets up and faces every single day with gritty determination and humour.

Ciara at "Life with Hashi"
Not too many people blog about Thyroid conditions so it was great to stumble on Ciaras blog. I've learnt alot about hypothyroidism from her.

Win some lose some

After the dizzy heights of last weeks stunning 900gm loss I came crashing back to earth (with a resounding THUD) after tonights weigh in.

It is my second worst result since I started this journey, but hey I did lose wieght at least so I am still under 70kgs, not by much but I am there. I have not yet hit the low point of having no loss at all or worse, gaining weight and I am feverently hoping that is something I won't have to deal with.

So why exactly was my result so bad this week? Well I have a theory.
But if you want to know more you need to head into TMI territory, are you sure we are well enough acquainted for that?

OK, here goes. Usually every night I take a probitoic/IBS supplement which seems to do wonders for keeping me *ahem* regular. However, this week I took the box into the bedroom to look up the ingredients on the net and then forgot to return it to it's usual place on the microwave so I've been forgetting to take it each night.

I also have had another bad week with water, I'm really struggling with adequete water intake during this cooler weather. If anyone has any tips for keeping up your water intake I would be most appreciative.

So anyway, the result of no gut supplement and not enough water? Without getting into the nitty gritty lets just say that out of everything that has gone into my mouth this week, I'd estimate only about a third of it has come out the other end.

So, yes, some people have long suspected, but now I am about to confirm it; I am full of shit.

Stats for this week:
Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 69.7kgs
Lost this week: 200gms
Total Loss: 11.7kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 27.2
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

It's a nice day to be me

The whole size 12 jeans thing today came about because my gorgeous hubby was away for 2 days and whilst he was at the huge shopping mecca of Kalgoorlie (population: 30'000) I asked him to get me some jeans which are one of the many things we are unable to buy here. It was just for a lark really so I could see if they fit as my size 14 clothes aren't noticeably larger on me.

So anyway it's a nice day to be me because the size 12 jeans fit.
My hubby is home after 2 nights away ;)
aaaanndd also it's weigh in day and the results were GOOD.

Stats for this week:
Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 69.9kgs (under 70kgs woot, woot!)
Lost this week: 900gms
Total Loss: 11.5kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 27.3
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

OMG OMG OMG

Guess what I am wearing?

Size 12

twelve

T.W.E.L.V.E

jeans!!!

I have not worn size 12 in jeans for at least 6 years.

Granted they are from Target (I can't brave a real jeans shop yet), and they are stretch denim, but they are still labelled a size 12, and I am wearing them, and they fit!

And I'm not just squeezing into them and sucking in my gut to do up the zip either. They were easy to get on and I am even sitting down quite comfortably, (we all know how uncomfortable tight jeans are when you sit down).

When I first looked at them I thought they looked really small, I can't believe I am wearing them.

Oh happy day :)

Trinny & Susannah - the body gurus

I love Trinny and Susannah, they are funny, firm but fair and most of the time their advice to women is spot on. A friend of mine has recently bought their "Body Bible" which shows you how to determine which of their 12 body types you fit into and then how to dress to flatter your shape. I decided I could use a bit of this kind of advice because like I have mentioned before, even once I lose weight I will still be the same disproportionate shape which is a shape that I am less than satisfied with. So finding out how to make the most of what I have (don't have?) could possibly be advantageous.

Anyway I found this article here which shows the none too flattering real women pics from the book with descriptions of each type, but on close examination I just couldn't decide which one was most like me. A further search revealed this site here on which you choose the characteristics of your bits; short legs, small boobs, big bum etc and like magic you are boxed into a body type and the knowledge of how to dress in order to look drop-dead gorgeous is instantaneously at your fingertips.

I always used to think I was pear shaped but according to our knowledgeable twosome Pears have toned arms and a tiny waist so we can scrap that one because toned arms and a tiny waist I have not! Problem though is that I really don't appear to fit into any of the other 11 body types.

According to the "find your body type" gadget I am in fact a "cello".
However a cello apparently has:
Big Bum - check
Short Waist - check
Big Hips - check
Slim Lower Legs - check
Big Boobs - *beep* fail, epic fail.

Whilst my boobs are no longer the bee stings they once were they hardly qualify as "big". So moving right along they then suggested that if I thought I wasn't a cello I could possibly be an hourglass or a vase. hmmmmmmm ... cue raised eyebrows.

Hourglass:
Small Waist - not really *sigh*
Short Waist - check
Big Hips - check
Big Thighs - BIG FAT check
Big Boobs - *beep* fail

The Vase is an even bigger write off, it's not even remotely close to my shape. Once again it has big boobs and this time slim legs, ha! I wish! If there is one part of me I hate almost as much as my barge arse it is my thighs which I think are each similar in circumference to my waist.

So after all that it appears I do not fit into any of the 12 body types, therefore none of their fashion advice applies to me. I always thought on their show that they deliberately picked people of certain body shapes whom they knew they could help and this just proves it.

If the ultimate body shape gurus can't help me then what hope do I have?

Moment of truth

Weigh in last night didn't turn out as bad as I had expected after the coffees and Anzac biscuits last week. Oh and did I mention the 3 or 4 bite sized sausage rolls I had on Saturday when we got held up in town after the Anzac parade? I didn't? Oops.

Like I said in my last post though, apart from my permitted transgressions in NZ I have been really very good with my diet, much better than I expected, so I wasn't too concerned about last week, at least until I had to step on the scales.

As it turns out I need not have worried. I didn't have a brilliant week, in fact it was one of my lower losses but all things considered, with the food slip ups and lack of exercise I am quite happy to have lost even this much.

Stats for this week:
Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 70.8kgs
Lost this week: 500gms
Total Loss: 10.6 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 27.6
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Diet disrupted

I didn't have the best of weeks this week, not only with the diet but just generally. It's school holidays here so I am taking advantage of the opportunity to sleep in and as such by the time I get up I feel it is too late for a breakfast shake and in some cases even too late for a mid-morning snack, so I have skipped a few of these this week. I have also been feeling a bit off, flu-ish maybe, headaches, and aches and and pains, and so I have missed three days of exercise this week.

We had a dramatic weather change on Wednesday with a 15 degree drop, so my diet has suffered a little there with a few extra warming coffees thrown in, coffee itself wouldn't be so bad except I must have sugar in it. I've been craving some crunchy biscuits to dip into my coffees and Saturday night I gave in and had a few Anzac bikkies, it was Anzac day after all! Aside from our holiday to NZ where I gave myself "permission" to be naughty this is my first real "slip up" since I've been on the diet so I don't feel too bad about it.

However, I am a bit worried about how I will cope when it gets to real winter here. I love my hearty winter meals, stews and roasts with lots of potatoes, pasta bakes, and home-made soups with home baked warm crusty bread. It's fairly easy to "eat" shakes, drink 2 litres of water a day and eat salad when the weather is nice but these few days of cool weather have highlighted how much of a struggle winter is going to be.

Mirror, mirror

They say that the mirror never lies. That's crap, who invented that saying anyway? I think the mirror does lie, in fact I know it does.

I know I still have a long way to go and by no stretch of the imagination can I call myself thin, I'm not even close to ideal, butI have made progress, I can see this in the mirror. My reflection does not reveal a spectacular metamorphosis but I am beginning to notice the changes. I am seeing the differences, it's happening, they are there, or at least this is what my deceptive mirror is telling me.

And yet when I get my Hubby to take photos of me so I can compare how I look at the start of each month to how I looked in January and last year I see no difference at all.

It's madness. It defies logic. Therefore I can only conclude that my mirror is a compulsive liar.

Apparently weight loss with thyroid issues shouldn't be a difficult feat!

I just read an interesting article on this blog here:

Is Weight Loss With Thyroid Disease Possible?

It was quite a good read although the last line "Weight loss with thyroid disease shouldn’t be a difficult feat once the patient learns to adapt a well regulated lifestyle." pissed me off immensely because for many people it is a difficult feat, plain and simple.

Besides that though I found the article informative and reassuring.
It's main tips for weight loss with Thyroid Issues were:

* Exercise
Normal people can get away with 20 minutes 3 times per week, people with Thyroid problems need to do much more, not very bloody fair is it?
* Drink lots of water to boost metabolism.
* Eating fibre rich foods is also a metabolism booster.
* Eat smaller meals more often rather than larger meals infrequently.

As part of my diet/lifestyle change I am doing all of the above so perhaps that is why I am losing weight? I have toyed with the idea of going off the CS and just going it alone with a sensible diet and exercise but I don't know if that is a step I am ready for. According to the article, simple calorie control does not work for thyroid patients so there is a real fear to let the CS go, especially while it seems to be working quite well.

Last weeks weigh in was an anomaly

It must have been, either that or this week is the anomaly, or I need to lower my medication even further and I really dont want to have to do that because this week I have lost 1.2kgs!

I have no idea what I have done this week that I didn't do the week before, in fact I am pretty sure that there was nothing so dramatic to make 1.1kgs of difference, so how the hell I have managed one of my best weekly losses to date I cannot tell you. Perhaps I am making up for last week? Perhaps I am heading into another 100gm week? (please not that again). I am almost too scared to mention this to my Doctor in case he orders another blood test and it shows that I need to lower my meds again. That would be a major bummer.

Anyway tonight is special not just because of the amazing weekly result but also because I have passed 10kgs, one of my "mini" goals! I am nearly halfway to my goal weight of 60kgs and I have promised myself that if I get to 60kgs and I am still moving along nicely, still not feeling too deprived and still motivated I will push myself further to get to 55kgs. I don't think I have been 55kgs since I was about 13 years old. I have no idea what a 55kgs me will look like.

I hope I get to find out.

Stats for this week:
Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 71.3kgs
Lost this week: 1.2kgs
Total Loss: 10.1 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 27.8
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Thinspiration - not the anorexic kind

So I have a new hobby. I search the web looking for peoples "before and after" photos. Inspiration, proof of the greatest feat a fat person can achive, becoming a thin person. There is certainly no lack of these kinds of photos, countless people seem not only happy to post pics of their new gorgeous selves but also the pics that are not so flattering, those which display their gut rolls, flabby upper arms and their two extra chins. Who can blame them for wanting to flaunt their new figures? And even to put up the "before" pics to show exactly how good a job they have done, how far they have come. That takes guts, not the kind of guts that hangs over your pants either, courage real courage. Here are a couple of courageous, beautiful women.


My Weight Loss
Originally uploaded by LittleRedCera


Weight Loss Comparison 2
Originally uploaded by &Tracee

I don't know if I will ever have the courage to post "before" pics. But then I can't imagine myself ever looking as good as some of the people whose pics I admire. Like I have said before, I've lost nearly 10kgs (for my American friends there is a kgs to lbs calculator at the bottom of this blog) but I see no difference, when I look in the mirror I see still a huge fat person, logic tells me that 70kgs isn't that huge but that is what I see. I hate how I look, I hated it 10kgs ago and I still hate it. It's different with other people though, when I look at their pics I see not just someone who has lost weight but someone who looks "just right", with toned arms, a flat tummy and a butt that is in proportion to the rest of their body. I don't think I will ever be like that, even many years ago when I was a size 10 I had a disproportionately huge butt and a flabby tummy and I believe that if I manage to get to a size 10 again I will still have a huge butt and flabby tummy and I will still feel fat.

To my Hubby's disgust I am seriously considering liposuction once I get to my goal weight. I want to fix the bits of me that I have always hated no matter what size I am and which will never look good no matter how strictly I diet or how much I exercise. Does that make me vain? Or stupid? Realistically unless a miracle happens and we become independantly wealthy I will probably never actually get liposuction. There will always be something that those thousands of dollars could be better spent on such as a new car, a holiday, new furniture, school fees, but I can dream. I can dream of a body that I am happy to be in.

Food boredom

I've been doing this diet for ten weeks now and if there is one thing that could make me give up it would be boredem, food boredom, my taste buds are soooooo bored.

I can handle a shake for breakfast and lunch. I can handle the previously mentioned aquaholic camel-esque water intake. I can handle not drinking soft drink or fruit juice and not eating lollies, cakes or biscuits. That's all fine, no big deal.

But what I am really struggling with is that lack of variety in our evening meal. Before beginning this diet I had embarked on a new way of cooking, I'd been to taste.com.au and downloaded hundreds of recipes, I was creating a weekly menu planner, we were eating lots of new things and different things all the time.

Now each and every week is basically like this:

Monday: fish and salad
Tuesday: sausages and salad
Wednesday: Omlette, or scrambled eggs or tuna and salad
Thursday: chicken breast and salad
Friday: meal at the pub (comes with salad, yay!)
Saturday: Steak and salad
Sunday: crumbed chicken and salad

I'm bored to death, and I'm particularly sick of salad. I've never been a fan of vegetables, cooked or in salad and ten weeks of it hasn't improved it's appeal. I'm also fed up with excessive flatulence and the associated stomach pains which I suspect is from all the onion and capsicum I've been ingesting. Initially I looked forward to the evening meal, real food to chew on after shakes all day, but now I dread it, it's just become something to endure and half the time I'm not even hungry. I'm starting to think that perhaps I am physically hungry but my mind is telling me I'm not because the food is so unappetising.

Of course the simple solution would be to find some great low carb recipes and get cooking but it's not that easy. Our shitty local "supermarket" lacks so many key ingedients for tasty food and even many normal staples are consistenly unavailable, for instance I haven't been able to buy cottage cheeese for 6 weeks. And you can forget herbs, they don't keep so they just don't bother, that lops alot of asian recipes off the menu. Want fresh meat? Buy it Thursday, the rest of the week you need to thaw out what you have frozen. The limited fruit and vegetable range is delivered Tuesday along with dairy and sliced meat. Fresh fish? Non existent, frozen/boxed only. If they forget to order something you wait a week and hope they remember it on the next order. To add insult to injury with the limited choice, the goods are inferior (I didn't buy strawberries today - furry strawberries, bleh) and we pay far more than anyone else.

I'm so sick of it, it's hard enough to create an appetising and varied menu here with the limitations of the supermarket, but when you are on a diet and have so many restrictions it's near impossible. The sooner we leave this place the better. I want to shop at a real supermarket again.

100 lousy grams

Well given the title of this post you have probably guessed I only lost 100gms this week. The title also probably gives away the fact that I am not particularly happy about this.

I've had a hard time getting back into my routine since returning from NZ. I've only been exercising every second day instead of every day and my water intake hasn't been even close to nearly enough. These are about the only reasons I can find for the poor result this week. It seems I could get away with this kind of slip up on my previous level of medication but on this new lower dose it's obviously an indulgence I cannot afford. So, I must push myself back into my routine of 30 mins exercise each and evey day, and guzzling enough water to make an aquaholic camel feel bloated.

I know even the seemingly insignificant figure of 100 grams is 100 grams closer to my goal but for fucks sake! ONE HUNDRED LOUSY GRAMS? In a whole week? That is lame, it's laughable, it's so frustrating and annoying and heart breaking and it makes me wonder why I am putting myself through this shit. Particularly since my lack of a thyroid means that as soon as I am no longer dieting I will stack the weight back on. Getting to my goal weight is not the end of this, it's just the beginning, and by that I don't mean beginnning of a good thing like people often mean when they say "this isn't the end, it's just the beginning". In my case it's the beginning of a life long battle. Forget over indulging, I won't even be able to simply eat like a normal person, ever again. This realisation, one week after being made to lower my medication, makes tonights shitty result an incredibly bitter pill to swallow.

So FWIW, here are the numbers.
Read 'em and weep ... with me.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 72.5kgs
Lost this week: 100gms
Total Loss: 8.9 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 28.3
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Been there, done that ...

Weigh in day yay! I am starting to like weigh in day, I even look forward to it a bit. Sadistic much? lol

I had a good week this week, a bit tough emotionally with the Doctors visit and all but good as far as weight loss is concerned. It will be interesting to see over the next couple of weeks how the reduction in my medication influences things but this week at least was one to be very happy about.

I've been taking pics on the first day of each month, in the same clothes each time, jeans and a black singlet, just for my own benefit so I can see the changes, motivation and all that. I had a look last night and despite a loss of almost 9kgs I really couldn't see much of a difference, that was a bit disheartening, how can 9kgs be so unnoticeable?

I'm not ready to post any of those pics yet but when I can see the difference I might.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 72.6kgs
Lost this week: 900gms
Total Loss: 8.8 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 28.4
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

My life revolves around medication

If I was to have a discussion with anyone today who was facing removal of their thyroid gland I would urge them to get a second opinion, I would tell them to make sure that it was the only option before they went ahead with the surgery. I think most of us are ignorant about the functions of our thyroid gland and it is only now, three years after having mine removed that I have realised it is one of the most important glands in the human body. It is only now after living the way I have for three years that I have an understanding about the life long implications of life with NO thyroid gland.

I had my return visit to the Doctor last week for the results of my recent blood test and unfortunately the results (almost no TSH) indicate that I need to lower my Thyroxine intake. That wasn't the news I was hoping for because in the 3 weeks since I started the higher level of medication I have lost 3kgs, whilst at my previous level of medication I lost only 6kgs in 3 months. So the higher level of medication has basically doubled my weight loss from an average of 500gms per week to 1kg a week putting me on par with a "normal" person using a low carb/low calorie diet.

It is awfully tempting to ignore my Doctors advice (although I'd run out of medication and need a new script too soon) but the risks to my health, among them heart arrhythmia and osteoporosis, are just far too great and when it comes down to it that is far more important than losing weight. Therefore I am going to follow my Doctors advice. I have two thryroxine prescriptions, 100mcg and 50mcg, I was taking a 100 and a 50 every day, what he wants me to try now is one day of 100, two days of 150, one day of 100 and so on. Goodness knows how I will remember that, it may be time to break out my very Nanna like 7-day pill box.

So anyway, the bottom line with all of this is that it looks like my 3 short weeks of jubilation when I see the results on the scales has come to an abrupt end. I think I really just need to come to terms with the fact that I am going to lose weight alot slower than a normal person and that I should consider anything over 500gms a week a bonus.

And after all, any loss is still a loss, right?

Slowly but surely

My weigh in last night was a bit of a surprise, in some respects even more surprising than last week after getting home from NZ. I didn't expect a good result this week. I really haven't been as strict as I normally am as I've found it super difficult this week to get back into my pre-holiday routine. Perhaps it's just a bit of post holiday blues although we have all been a bit unwell in our house this week and I am midway through TTOM, but I have not exercised every day, only alternate days, I haven't been drinking nearly as much water as I should be and I've missed alot of snacks.

Still, this week I have somehow managed to lose 900gms which is a sensational result, better than usual in fact, my weekly loss is usually between 300-750gms so this totally baffles me. I went to see my Doctor before the holiday and although concerned about my (hypothyroid) symptoms he basically admitted he didn't have the expertise to make any radical changes to my treatment and decided to trial an extra 25mcg of thyroxine daily. This is about the only thing I can think of that could be having a positive effect on my weight loss. I had another blood test last week and I will be going to see him for the results this week, lets just hope he thinks it is safe to keep me on this current level of medication!

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 73.5kgs
Lost this weeks: 900gms
Total Loss: 7.9 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 28.7
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

The Judgmental Bitch

My little town is running it's own Biggest Loser competition with prizes and all sorts of incentives. Having been away I had no idea this was going on until yesterday when I saw one of my friends cars parked at the gym so I went in to say "hi, I'm back" and found her in the middle of her assessment with the so called "counselor/nutrition adviser/fitness trainer" who is been paid for by one of the mine companies.

As it turns out a few of my friends are joining up and my friend encouraged me to as well so I went to the trainers office to collect the paperwork and in the natural course of the conversation I let slip that I was on a low carb diet. As Julia Roberts would say, big mistake, HUGE. (too bad I can't add "I have to go shopping and toddle off along Rodeo Drive with my billionaire boyfriends CC).

Stupid, stupid, naive, diet newbie me was under the impression that besides starving yourself, purging, and using diet pills or laxatives almost anything else a person did to get themselves fit and to a healthy weight would be accepted and encouraged, not so.

This woman turned to my friend and said "what's with the low carb fad?", and I responded "it works, I've lost 7 kilos". She then turned back to me and asked almost sarcastically, "so what aren't you aloud to eat? bread, pasta and cereals I suppose?" I said yes they are banned. She said "lots of fruit and vege though?" to which I again responded "yes" and she said "you know they have carbs too?". Derr lady, *eye roll*, I told her I was well aware of this and it was a low carb diet, not a no carb diet. She then turned away from me again, looked at my friend and said "I don't approve". WTF? She doesn't "approve"?

I think some people do think low carb is a fad and they hear about some diets where people drop huge amounts of weight really quickly so I told her that my 7 kilos has been lost over 2.5 months. I also mentioned I am stepping nearly every night too and learning to eat better, not just cutting breads/cereals/pasta out and never eating them again which isn't healthy or realistic, so it's not dangerous and it's very sustainable, she still didn't seem appeased.

I know we all have our ups and downs, our good days and our bad but, weight loss is overall meant to be a positive experience which results in you feeling better about yourself. I am motoring along quite well on my own, I'm getting results and I feel good. I really don't think I need some judgmental bitch telling me off and bringing me down so I don't think I'll be joining.

Holy shit, it's really working.

We were a little bit "relaxed" with the diet while in NZ. We still had our 2 shakes a day and we tried to have the right snacks but we did indulge, just a little. I had Jamaican banana bread at the Wellington Sunday Market, plus an apple cinnamon scroll later on, damn it was good. We also did have Maccas and Burger King once each and I had Lasagne at the National Museum (which was delicious) but it didn't get too out of hand, plus we did a LOT of walking and we enjoyed it too.

Still, despite my claims of living it up, enjoying my holiday and not obsessing about my diet too much, after those small transgressions I was a tad anxious about coming home and weighing in. Well as it turns out I perhaps should have been more relaxed as I really had nothing to worry about.

I weighed in last night and I have lost 1.3 kilos!

That makes 7 kilos so far with 14.4 to go, I'm a third of the way there. Now for the very first time since I began this diet I am actually beginning to see a difference in my appearance - and I like it!

I'm feeling really motivated.
Yay for me :)

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 74.4kgs
Lost these weeks: 1.3kgs
Total Loss: 7 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 29.1
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

I'm back

Well we're back.

We had a great time in NZ, saw lots of bubbling mud pools, geysers, coloured hot pools, exotic animals and we went on two, yes TWO helicopter rides. One was a planned ride in Rotorua the other a spur of the moment decision in Kaikoura because our Whale Watching Boat Trip was cancelled due to rough seas. We did see Sperm Whales from the helicopter but the 3G circular turns to maintain sight of the whales resulted in me vomiting in the chopper - not fun.

All in all though it was a pretty good trip aside from the flight home from Auckland to Perth. We'd already had two delayed flights, our domestic from Christchurch and then our Perth flight from Auckland so we were 3 hours behind schedule and my nerves were already frayed. But then we copped the screaming demon child from hell on the seat in front of me and as if that wasn't bad enough the person behind me repeatedly jabbed the in seat touch screen and caused me to announce to a flight attendant that I was ready to take hostages. She swiftly passed me a glass of wine which I skulled and then she moved us to the only free seats on the plane, the crew seats in the last aisle. Unfortunately by that stage 6.5 hours of the 7.5 hour flight (which felt like a 12 hour flight) had passed and I only had one hour of peace before landing.

It was THE single worst flight of my life.

TTFN

Ta ta for now.

Tomorrow we leave to spend almost 2 weeks in New Zealand. It's actually only 10 days there but by the time we factor in flying time, waiting time at the airport and the 900km trip each way to get to Perth Airport, we will be away from home for 2 weeks.

Hubby and I are both taking enough shakes to keep up with the diet while we are gone, and we certainly won't be bingeing on choccies, lollies and other nasties while we are away but I think we will be a little more relaxed with our evening meals.

Since I won't be here Sunday night I have weighed in early this week and I'm pleased with the numbers. It will be very interesting to see what the scales read in 2 weeks time when I get back. But anyway I'm going to try and enjoy my holiday and not worry too much about that, rather allow me to bask in the glory of this weeks result.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 75.7kgs
Lost this week: 700gms
Total Loss: 5.7 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 29.6
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Rewards

I've been pondering how to reward myself for my weight loss because I think I'm doing a good job and I deserve a reward. I started small thinking a choccy bar a week but then I read on a low carb forum that rewarding yourself with food is not a good idea as it gets you back into bad habits, and that makes alot of sense to me.

So now I am thinking a bit beyond the once a week thing. I'm thinking maybe rewards for every 2 or 5kg, problem is I'm not sure what I can reward myself with for those smaller losses, perhaps a season of one of my favourite shows on DVD?

For my goal weight reward I had made the suggestion to my Hubby of a tattoo. I've wanted a tattoo for about 12 years now but never been able to settle on a design, now however I think I know what I want. I love cats, cats of all types, big, small, domestic, and wild. I have one cat at home, she is the sweetest, gentlest most wonderful creatures but sadly she is 14 years old and recently I have recently come to the realisation that she isn't going to be around forever. So I decided if I was to get a tattoo it would be a black cat for her.

But, the more I have mulled it over it the more I am beginning to think that a tattoo isn't enough of a reward for such a massive achievement, for such a huge life changing process. I'm thinking maybe the tattoo can be my halfway-there reward. For reaching my goal weight I think I deserve something better than a tattoo.

Here are some of my ideas.

A Louis Vuitton bag.
I really like this one "Manhattan"
but it is major $$$
A Pandora bracelet.
Unfortunately it would need to be gold
as I have a nickel allergy and can't wear
silver. Again, big $$$, but I like that I can
add to it for other milestones in my life.
Laser vision correction.
Big, big $$$, HUGE, but a lifetime
of freedom from glasses.
Convincing Hubby will be the tricky bit, I don't fancy my chances really lol, but I'll keep you posted.