Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Off the wagon?

Apologies for the lack of posts, we moved house and we were without internet for three weeks and then once we got it back I just couldn't be arsed, I think I have lost my mojo.

I have to admit I am really struggling lately, by last week I was already at a low point, I've been doing this for so long now I think I am over it, well and truly. But then my DH left to go to a work conference and to show his English cousin around Perth and the South West of WA. He is gone for 12 days, that's 12 days of feeding just me and Jazz and worse, 12 days straight of work (there is only me and him at our workplace so since he is gone I have to hold the fort).

When DH is away I usually don't sleep well but this new house has added a totally new dimension to my insomnia with a whole new set of unfamiliar creaks and groans. I'm awake until 2-3am when my eyes finally close with exhaustion. I get up, go out, spend all day at work, I come home, I tidy the house, do the dishes and some laundry and then before I know it it's dinnertime and I'm so physically and mentally tired that I just cant be bothered even trying to think of something healthy so I've eaten pretty badly this week with chips and pizza amongst my dietary indiscretions. At least I am only eating crap at dinner time though, I'm not indulging in lollies, cakes and biscuits like I would have before, that counts for something right?

I didn't have a loss at all last week but by some miracle I am actually at my lowest weight so far and within tantalising reach of the 60kg mark, strangely though I am not happy. I don't know if it's the bad food and lack of exercise that is discouraging me or if the dissatisfaction of life in general is all catching up but I am currently less satisfied with myself than I was 5kgs ago, go figure? I look at myself in the mirror and although I know I am so much smaller than I was 8 months ago I still don't like what I see because before I was just unhappy with my size overall. Now however I see the individual faults, they are alot more obvious, I see a flabby belly, big arse and thunder thighs. Also now that I am thinner, if I eat alot it actually makes my belly stick out and I hate that, a 300gm weight gain feels like 2kgs.

That's pretty fucking sad isn't it?

Anyway this blog is about the weight loss and I have lost weight so I guess I should post the numbers.

24/8 63.1kgs, -1kg
31/8 62.5kgs, -600gms
14/9 62.2kgs, -300gms
21/9 61.6kgs, -600gms
28/9 61.1kgs, -500gms
05/10 61.1kgs, no change :(


  1. Perk up poppet! You're almost there! I think what you've done is sensational...don't worry about the little faults you see...check out the best bits. I know it's easier said than done but hey, you fit into smaller jeans, smaller dresses, smaller everything...and you MUST be healthier.

    Good on you...feeling low is understandable...you've just moved house and your aren't saleeping well....
    You. Will. Be. Fine!


  2. thanks Lesley, I'm just tired and fed up and having a bit of a pity party I guess *eyeroll*

  3. We all need that...god knows I do too at the moment...hang in there, it'll be fine in the end...that's all that matters....you know, journey not destination and all that crap.