Monday, April 27, 2009

Trinny & Susannah - the body gurus

I love Trinny and Susannah, they are funny, firm but fair and most of the time their advice to women is spot on. A friend of mine has recently bought their "Body Bible" which shows you how to determine which of their 12 body types you fit into and then how to dress to flatter your shape. I decided I could use a bit of this kind of advice because like I have mentioned before, even once I lose weight I will still be the same disproportionate shape which is a shape that I am less than satisfied with. So finding out how to make the most of what I have (don't have?) could possibly be advantageous.

Anyway I found this article here which shows the none too flattering real women pics from the book with descriptions of each type, but on close examination I just couldn't decide which one was most like me. A further search revealed this site here on which you choose the characteristics of your bits; short legs, small boobs, big bum etc and like magic you are boxed into a body type and the knowledge of how to dress in order to look drop-dead gorgeous is instantaneously at your fingertips.

I always used to think I was pear shaped but according to our knowledgeable twosome Pears have toned arms and a tiny waist so we can scrap that one because toned arms and a tiny waist I have not! Problem though is that I really don't appear to fit into any of the other 11 body types.

According to the "find your body type" gadget I am in fact a "cello".
However a cello apparently has:
Big Bum - check
Short Waist - check
Big Hips - check
Slim Lower Legs - check
Big Boobs - *beep* fail, epic fail.

Whilst my boobs are no longer the bee stings they once were they hardly qualify as "big". So moving right along they then suggested that if I thought I wasn't a cello I could possibly be an hourglass or a vase. hmmmmmmm ... cue raised eyebrows.

Small Waist - not really *sigh*
Short Waist - check
Big Hips - check
Big Thighs - BIG FAT check
Big Boobs - *beep* fail

The Vase is an even bigger write off, it's not even remotely close to my shape. Once again it has big boobs and this time slim legs, ha! I wish! If there is one part of me I hate almost as much as my barge arse it is my thighs which I think are each similar in circumference to my waist.

So after all that it appears I do not fit into any of the 12 body types, therefore none of their fashion advice applies to me. I always thought on their show that they deliberately picked people of certain body shapes whom they knew they could help and this just proves it.

If the ultimate body shape gurus can't help me then what hope do I have?