Saturday, February 28, 2009


Tonight I threw out some clothes, not alot but a bit, about 10 items. They were items that made me feel bad when I wore them, things that I didn't feel that I looked good wearing, things that I think made me look fat and ugly. It was good to throw them out, very cathartic.

I also tried on some new things. Because we live in a remote area and we don't get to shop very often I sometimes buy things over the net, or when we do make the trip to the big smoke we are usually short on time so I buy many things without trying them on. Sometimes I get lucky and the things I buy fit and look okay - well as good as clothes can look on me. Alot of the time though they don't fit so they go to the bottom of my draws where they never see the light of day again.

Until tonight.

Tonight I tried on 6 of these items that had been hidden away in my draws and not only did they fit, I actually liked how they looked.

I'm really starting to think I can do this.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Blogger word verfication is broken

I have been trying for days to leave comments on a number of peoples blogs (Cat, Leila, April and a few others) and have been unable too. When it gets to the bit where it asks for word verification it says "image loading" but no image comes up. No image, no word verification, no comment.

Word verification is broken.

A little googling quickly showed me that it has been in this state for at least 2 days now, blogger is apparently trying to fix it, bloggers are going nuts.

I am going do what blogger recommends for now and that is to disable word verification and temporarily use comment moderation instead, so if you have tried to leave a comment on my blog and been unable to, come back, try again.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tactless Relatives

What is it about shared DNA that makes people think they have every right to be as rude as they please? Are people like this only rude to the people they are related to or are they just complete arseholes in general?

For at least the last 14 years I have lived in different cities from my parents (by choice) and I see them infrequently. My Dad used to be quite fond of informing me how much bigger my butt looked every time I saw him. This went on for years until I screamed at him one day (with my sister backing me up) about how tactless it was to pick on a woman's weight and that he obviously was unaware of the large amount of young women suffering eating disorders. Nowadays he doesn't comment.

Anyway, this kind of behaviour is bad enough from those you are closely related to, who, lets face it, often feel licensed to say whatever pops into their heads. But, it can be even worse coming from relatives you are not at all close to and who really should know alot better.

Take an Aunt of mine for instance, one of my Mums sisters, it's always one of my Mums sisters. My Mothers large family (9 siblings) are possibly the most rude, ignorant, critical, tactless, immature, greedy, selfish, bitchy, two-faced, self absorbed group of people you could ever have the misfortune to meet. They used to be a fairly close knit bunch and we often had family get togethers but we have all drifted apart over the years and now I rarely see any of them, in fact I make it a point to avoid them where possible, I haven't seen some of them for over 10 years.

Last year I had to attend a family function and unfortunately several of my Mums sisters were there. I approached their table to say hello and one particular Aunt that I hadn't seen in a few years and who was standing next to the table greeted me with "how are you fatso?" as she heartily slapped me on the backside. Stunned and embarrassed I forced a smile, mumbled "ok", made small talk with the table for 5 minutes and then returned humiliated to my own table. When I gave my Hubby a run-down of this scene later on he said that I should have responded "feeling positively slim next to you!". Pity how you never think of these great lines when you need to.

I was fuming, I thought, how dare she? First of all she is much larger than me and has been for the last 20 or so years, she has always battled with her weight and has been on one diet or another for the better part of the last decade or more so she know how it feels to struggle with your weight. She also knows I had my thyroid out and that thyroids can cause weight issues. Perhaps she is one of those people who criticises others to feel better about herself. Regardless, she had no right to be so rude and she should have known better.

Anyway, this has come up now, almost a year later because she sent me a friend request on Facebook! I can't believe it. It's sitting there untouched because I'm not sure what to do right now. I don't know if I should just gracefully leave it be (and have her wondering what she had done to be so rudely ignored) or if I should accept it and then tell her what I think of her.

I'd be laughing if I wasn't so totally pissed off.
What a nerve!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Another week another weigh in

Today we drove to Kalgoorlie (5 hour round trip) to do grocery shopping. These are the desperate lengths you go to when the lousy supermarket in your little outback town doesn't have basic essentials such as cold sliced meat, yoghurt, and certain fruits (strawberries) and veggies (lettuce varieties) for over a week.

We let Jazz take a day off school and took her with us which became interesting at lunch time when we decided she could have McDonalds for a treat. As we stood in line waiting to order Jasmines meal the smell of Cheeseburgers and McChickens wafted around us and I was so tempted, oh so tempted, but I resisted. We went back to the car, Jazz sat and ate her Happy Meal while John and I mixed up our shakes and drank them in the car.

I was very proud of both of us.

So anyway, last night was weigh in time so here are the stats for this week:

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 76.9kgs
Lost this week: 700gms
Total Loss: 4.5 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 30.0
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Not bad, not too bad at all.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Three Great Female Inequalities

1. Boob size
2. Menstrual cycles
3. Food intake/weight

Sometimes I ponder the mysteries of the Universe, like alot of people I wonder about the biggies such as god, afterlife and extra terrestrials, but I also have some other mysteries that I'd like answers for. Three that really really drive me nuts and have me throwing my hands in the air at the complete unfairness of it all are what I call the Great Female Inequalities.

1. First of all is boob size, which is relatively self explanatory isn't it. Why are some women A cups and some women HHH cups? And why does boob size not relate to overall body size? For example; you may see a size 2 waif with natural huge bazoongas (sometimes they actually are natural) and then you get a tragic soul such as myself who at a size 10-12 spent the better part of my adult life as a large A to small B, and only now in the last couple of years as a size 14-16 has graduated to a small C.

My Hubby loves that women's breasts come in all shapes and sizes, he considers diversity a beautiful thing, it makes for far more interesting ogling. But my Hubby has never lived life as a large framed woman with under proportioned breasts, a shape that isn't exactly ideal in our appearance obsessed society. My Hubby also once told me a joke; Q. "how do you make 5 pounds of fat attractive?" A. "put a nipple on it". And that just about sums it up, that is all boobs are, FAT, the stuff that so many of us are either trying to lose or desperately trying to avoid. Put it anywhere else on the body (like on my arse for instance) and it becomes unwanted, ugly, the object of scorn and something that should be hidden lest it offend the beautiful thin people. Put (enough) of it on a female chest and it becomes a thing of beauty, desirable, irresistible. What a crazy, crazy world we live in.

2. The Menstrual Cycle, yes I know it's icky and something we don't talk about/want to hear about, particularly the boy readers, so I'll keep it short and won't go into too much detail.

Why do some women have a small amount of light pink spotting for 2 days (I think these are the ones who embrace their womanhood and claim to love their periods) and yet other women need to take out shares in feminine hygiene companies because they bleed like a stuck pig for 9 days? Why do some women barely get a hint of a cramp and yet others become a walking talking encyclopaedia of menstrual symptoms; mood disturbances, cramps (like someone has inserted a hamster with knives for claws into your uterus), headaches, back pain, bowel upsets, hot flushes, food cravings, depression, anxiety, acne, sore breasts etc. etc. etc?

3. Last but not least and certainly of greatest relevance to this blog is food intake in relation to body mass.

Why is it that some women can eat like Sumo wrestlers, do very little exercise and yet have physiques like gazelles, rarely putting on a gram, while the rest of us need to subsist on lettuce leaves and diet shakes in order to lose a lousy 100 grams here and there or even just maintain a reasonable weight?

I'm not naive enough to believe all the stick thin celebs who come out in damage control mode when accused of being anorexic and claim to be "naturally thin", and that they "eat like horses" and "live on hamburgers and donuts". But I do know that there are people out there who really are like that, I even know some of them personally.

Diet shakes and lettuce leaves aside there are many many of us who will never be able to eat whatever we like. We probably wont even be able to take the odd small diversion into fat-food territory, such as a cupcake with a coffee occasionally, because we have the body type that ensues the cupcakes volume will expand by 200% and it will instantaneously come to rest on our thighs from where it will stubbornly refuse to budge no matter what. I have to ask, where is the fairness in that?

So can anyone shed any light on these great mysteries of life? Anyone?

This is a topic my Hubby and I often debate.
He thinks life is hard for men.
Want to know his gripes about being a man?
What it is exactly that makes life difficult for the hairier sex?

1. Maintaining control of the "driving force" (testosterone)

and wait for it .... this one is deep:

2. Having to shave their face every day.

Yes, you heard it here first, blokes have it tough.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Weigh In Day! Yay! (not)

It was with fear, actual fear that I did my weigh in last night. I was scared of what might happen if I hadn't lost any weight this week, or only lost a few hundred grams, I was worried about how committed I could remain to this if I didn't get a reasonable result. Not a good feeling to have, bordering on obsessive, unhealthy and a bit scary.

Thankfully though I did get a reasonable result. I'm quite pleased with it in fact. Now I really must make sure I measure myself weekly as well because I have been told time and time again that while I may not have a big difference on the scales it's almost certain that I will with the measuring tape and this may be what I need to keep me going on the weeks when the scale doesn't look as good as it did last night.

I still don't really feel any thinner, my clothes are definitely no looser but I think regardless of that, in the mirror it looks like there may be less of me around the tummy (a problem area of mine).

I was sceptical but I am actually nearing my first "mini goal" which was to get below the "Obese" range on the BMI.

So anyway here are the numbers:

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 77.6kgs
Lost this week: 1kg
Total Loss: 3.8 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 30.3
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Saturday, February 14, 2009


A small diversion from the usual programming today.

It is exactly one week today since the worst bushfires in Australian history killed at least 181 people, destroyed almost 2000 homes, left approx 7000 people homeless, completely flattened at least 2 towns maybe more, and also killed an estimated 1 million native birds, reptiles and animals.

Above: Kinglake, Feb 2009, from

It's been a long week, an awful, sad, horrifying, angry week, and with the knowledge of at least one friend who lost his home and a couple of others who were threatened, a difficult time to be away from my home state. But my sadness can't be even a minute fraction of what those who have been closely involved in this tragedy must feel.

I encourage everyone who hasn't done so already to please donate to the Victorian Bushfire appeal, the CFA, or Wildlife Victoria.

Above: Survivor "Sam" the Koala, from

RIP all the victims of the Victorian Bushfires
Saturday 7th Feb 2009.

Monday, February 9, 2009

First official Weigh In on CS

I did my fist official weekly weigh in last night and while the result isn't as good as I had hoped it isn't all doom and gloom either. Maybe my body is just taking longer to react to all the changes of CS, maybe it's taking longer than usual to clear out all the redundant carbs and sugar that were left over!

Whatever the case I have made a small amount of progress, so while I am not exactly thrilled I am a little more optimistic than I was before.

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 78.6kgs
Lost this week: 600gms
Total Loss: 2.8 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 30.7
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Weight loss after Thyroidectomy

Last night I did a stupid thing. I had a vague recollection of hearing/reading that people had trouble with weight loss after having their thyroid removed so I decided to do some research to see if I could determine how successful people are at losing weight after having a thyroidectomy.

The news is not good my friends, not good at all. In the hundreds of various forum posts I trawled through, the many thyroid support websites I visited I could not find one person who said they had successfully lost weight after a thyroidectomy. Many many people had posted their tales of woe in desperation, asking if others had managed to do what it seemed they could not, only to have dozens of responses from others in the same boat. Nobody said "yes, I've done it, and you can too". All I found were story upon story of people who either hover around the same weight or continue to put on weight, despite good healthy diet and exercise. It was all pretty discouraging really, in fact it was downright depressing.

I found an interesting website called "Stop the Thyroid Madness" which goes into great detail about how the majority of Thyroid patients are being incorrectly medicated. In a short simplified version, we have two major thyroid hormones our body naturally produces, T3 and T4, in the old days they used to medicate this condition with natural thyroid hormone. Then in the 1970's a new "wonder" synthetic T4 arrived, theoretically our bodies are supposed to be able to convert a percentage of this T4 to T3 but it seems for a very large amount of patients this simply does not happen and they continue to suffer the symptoms of an underactive thyroid.

In the old days a patient was medicated according to their symptoms, if you were still having hypothyroid symptoms your medication was increased/changed. Nowadays it's all about numbers, if your lab work is within the "right range" they consider you correctly medicated, they don't care how you feel.

Despite being "correctly medicated" I still have the following symptoms:

Hair Loss
Brittle Nails
Dry Skin
Weight Gain
Foggy thinking
Tiredness, major tiredness, exhaustion
Lump in the throat like a wad of phlegm is always stuck there (not a listed symptom but others have described the same thing)

In short I am miserable, I've been miserable for years and nobody can fix it.

Since having my thyroidectomy I have had my blood done at least twice a year (by 3 different doctors) and every time I am told I am correctly medicated and nothing else can be done.

I have been told I have Depression, possibly PCOS and/or IBS, nobody will treat these as thyroid symptoms because the numbers say my medication is right.

Combination T3/T4 therapy is still available, T3 is also available on it's own as a supplement to the synthetic T4, but the overwhelming majority of Doctors will not prescribe them, they favour the new synthetic, "proven" drug, they favour the numbers.

Probably the saddest, most enraging thing I read on that website was the story of a woman that was very overweight and on complaining to her Doctor he told her to get up at 5am, exercise like mad, only eat a few small portions of nuts through the day and a salad at night. When she told him she couldn't possibly live like that he responded that she apparently didn't want to lose weight too badly then.

I cried last night, I had a good long cry. I am wondering what hope I have in getting to 60kgs when I have a chemical in my body that is fighting me every step of the way. How long can I stay motivated to exercise every day? How long can I maintain a diet that doesn't allow me to eat all the things I love like rice, pasta, potatoes, and bread without result? How long can I continue like this if I don't lose weight? Or if the weight loss is so small, so insignificant that I feel like I am going to explode out of frustration?

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Inevitable results of losing 30 pounds .......

..... or in my case 1kg which is probably about what my undersized boobs weigh.

I saw this today whilst surfing flicker (one of my favourite things to do) and just had to laugh. I have a warped and twisted sense of humour and I expect I will be relying on that to get me through this at times so expect to see some fairly nutty stuff pop up in here.

Anyway I digress, I saw this cartoon and just had to laugh, because it is oh so true, the first place it goes from is the boobs, everything else stays the same.

Is this how I am going to look in six months? Diet? CartoonOriginally uploaded by popcornfeet

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

And so it begins ......

I started CS on Monday, today I am at the end of my third day.

So far I have had the following shake flavours:
Strawberry - nice
Caramel - not brilliant but tolerable
Banana - nice
Caffe Latte - blergh, foul
Vanilla - nice
Chocolate - hmmmm, not sure if this is tolerable or just plain yuck

I've been having fruit, nuts, or sliced ham or chicken for snacks.

On Monday night I had a small tin of tuna with a huge salad, Tues night I had a palm sized grilled chicken breast and huge salad and tonight I had an omelette. Mon & Tue night I wasn't hungry until about 9pm which is when I had my last snack for the day. Tonight though I was hungry an hour after I had the omelette.

The omelette was 2 eggs, spinach, mushrooms, onion, tomato, capsicum, ham and a small amount of tasty cheese. Now I am starting to think there wasn't enough veggies in it but I've had my last snack for the day (a small apple) so I can't have anything else.

Apparently alot of people go though a bit of a carb and sugar detrox in their first week of this program, the main effect of that seems to be feeling week, tired, and really bad headaches. This supposedly hits most people between day 2 and day 5. I have had a bit of a "lead-head" feeling but nothing too dramatic and it's the end of day three so I am hoping it stays like this.

Finally - water, another important part of the diet, at least 2 litres of water a day. And this is where I have really surprised myself, for the past 3 days I, me, the person who HATES water and only ever drank soft drink or fruit juice has drank at least 2.5 litres per day!

Of course the really hot weather (45 degrees every day) helps immensely!

One strange thing though is despite all that water I feel thirstier now than I did when soft drink and fruit juice was all I drank, and I drank half the amount of those as I do water, very weird.

To sum it up though, I am not toooo hungry (yet), I'm not feeling toooo deprived (yet) and I am in relatively good spirits (for now).

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Last meal of the condemned

We went out for dinner Friday night. My appetite had decreased in the last few months (ulcer medication?) and recently I have just been having an entrée serve of chicken satay sticks with rice for dinner. But not this week, in light of what is coming I decided to splurge a bit and ordered chicken parmigiana with chips. It was delicious and even though I was full about halfway through I wanted to keep eating because it tasted sooooo good, the chips at that pub are incredibly yummy.

I think chips are one of the things I will miss the most, there is alot of things I like that I can still have as long as I am careful about how much I have or only do it occasionally but chips are a complete no-no and I must admit I will find that bit tough.

So I decided to do a pre-Celebrity Slim weigh in and found to my surprise that despite not really dieting I had made some progress by myself. Just me on my own with the Wii Fit, not as much as I'd like over a month but something at least, more than I actually expected really, although I don't think it is noticeable when you look at me.

Hopefully with the CS that figure will improve.

So without further ado, my new stats:

Height: 160cms/5ft3in
Start Date: 28th Dec 2008
Start Weight: 81.4 kgs
Current Weight: 79.2kgs
Lost: 2.2 kgs
Start BMI: 31.8
Current BMI: 30.9
Goal BMI: 23.4
Goal Weight: 60 kgs
Goal Date: December 2009