Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tactless Relatives

What is it about shared DNA that makes people think they have every right to be as rude as they please? Are people like this only rude to the people they are related to or are they just complete arseholes in general?

For at least the last 14 years I have lived in different cities from my parents (by choice) and I see them infrequently. My Dad used to be quite fond of informing me how much bigger my butt looked every time I saw him. This went on for years until I screamed at him one day (with my sister backing me up) about how tactless it was to pick on a woman's weight and that he obviously was unaware of the large amount of young women suffering eating disorders. Nowadays he doesn't comment.

Anyway, this kind of behaviour is bad enough from those you are closely related to, who, lets face it, often feel licensed to say whatever pops into their heads. But, it can be even worse coming from relatives you are not at all close to and who really should know alot better.

Take an Aunt of mine for instance, one of my Mums sisters, it's always one of my Mums sisters. My Mothers large family (9 siblings) are possibly the most rude, ignorant, critical, tactless, immature, greedy, selfish, bitchy, two-faced, self absorbed group of people you could ever have the misfortune to meet. They used to be a fairly close knit bunch and we often had family get togethers but we have all drifted apart over the years and now I rarely see any of them, in fact I make it a point to avoid them where possible, I haven't seen some of them for over 10 years.

Last year I had to attend a family function and unfortunately several of my Mums sisters were there. I approached their table to say hello and one particular Aunt that I hadn't seen in a few years and who was standing next to the table greeted me with "how are you fatso?" as she heartily slapped me on the backside. Stunned and embarrassed I forced a smile, mumbled "ok", made small talk with the table for 5 minutes and then returned humiliated to my own table. When I gave my Hubby a run-down of this scene later on he said that I should have responded "feeling positively slim next to you!". Pity how you never think of these great lines when you need to.

I was fuming, I thought, how dare she? First of all she is much larger than me and has been for the last 20 or so years, she has always battled with her weight and has been on one diet or another for the better part of the last decade or more so she know how it feels to struggle with your weight. She also knows I had my thyroid out and that thyroids can cause weight issues. Perhaps she is one of those people who criticises others to feel better about herself. Regardless, she had no right to be so rude and she should have known better.

Anyway, this has come up now, almost a year later because she sent me a friend request on Facebook! I can't believe it. It's sitting there untouched because I'm not sure what to do right now. I don't know if I should just gracefully leave it be (and have her wondering what she had done to be so rudely ignored) or if I should accept it and then tell her what I think of her.

I'd be laughing if I wasn't so totally pissed off.
What a nerve!


  1. Yeah, dumbass relatives are the worst. I wouldn't accept her friend request if I were you.

  2. I would be torn as to what to do.

    Part of me would want to add her and give her what for.

    The other part of me would want to ignore her and seek solace in not adding toxicity to my life.

    I think perhaps the latter is the more mature option...you are too wonderful to have a horrible person like that in your life.